Details, Details, Details

I've never been diagnosed, but I'm pretty sure that I have a twinge of O.C.D. I mean, I do some things that - when I'm finished - I step back and go, "Now why did I do that? Was it really worth all that extra work?" Can anyone relate with this?

For example, I have a Netflix Instant Queue with hundreds of movies, documentaries and TV shows in it. If I have a TV show in the queue, I 100% intend to watch the entire show completely from the beginning. I've restarted "Lost" three times now because "it's been too much time since I started it last time" and watched the entire series of "Prison Break" because I never saw the last season. I write and rewrite and rewrite my To Do Lists so they looks cleaner, and I'm also the guy that would completely rewrite my class notes in college because I didn't think it looked neat enough. I'm also currently listening to a September 7, 2012 episode of a daily podcast that I like because I am trying to catch up (doubt it'll ever happen).

So why doesn't this exhausting process carry over to the health/fitness portion of my life? In recent introspective sessions, I've often pondered this question. And I think I've found the answer...

For me, it's easy to organize and control the physical surroundings around me. It's easy to pick up my laundry, make the bed, organize my desk  or do the dishes. But when it comes to organizing and aligning my mindset and my actions towards a healthier life, that's not as easy... It requires much more effort and dedication and my mind wears out well before my body does. So how does one go about conquering this giant?

That's what I'm still trying to figure out. Unfortunately, it doesn't seem that I have a switch that I can flip that automatically turns on self-control, discipline, motivation or commitment, so I guess that means I'm going to have to go it alone. Yikes, that definitely hasn't gotten me anywhere since I started back in 2009... But I'm making the attempt once again to kick this healthier lifestyle into gear, so we'll see how it goes this time!

What have you found that motivates you to commit to life-long, healthy changes in your life? Was it a life event, a particular person, a new-found passion for running? Let me know!

Battling Myself

I'm my own, worst enemy when it comes to losing weight and getting into good decent shape.

I'm really starting to think that I have two brains battling it out inside my skull for complete domination of the rest of the body. And these brains have two, VERY different goals in mind. For the sake of becoming familiar with the two of them, let's call them Ivan and Deion - trust me, this will make sense in a moment.

Ivan has one goal in mind - Instant Gratification. He wants what he wants, when he wants it. Fast food? NOW! Sleeping in? NOW! A liter of Mountain Dew? NOW! He has no concept of future ramifications and just wants to taste that burger or sleep that extra hour. He's convinced that things can be put off until tomorrow if it means having more fun today. He often tells me, "You can lose the weight in no time! So why not have a huge place of fettucini alfredo tonight? You can just take that off in a couple of days anyway!"

Deion, on the other hand, is quite different. He's all about Delayed Gratification. He's the one that gets me to choose water over soda, chicken over beef and treadmill over my soft, soft pillow. He knows the work that needs to go into losing weight and is willing to take the necessary steps - and use the correct amount of self-control - to get to the end goal of losing 80 pounds. He's the one who helps me lose 5-8 pounds in a week when all is done to perfection. Thankfully it seems he's here today at least!

My problem is that I give them equal attention. And equal attention = treading water.

Maybe it's more of a Jeckyll and Hyde situation where I don't necessarily have two brains, but just two different sides to my weight loss efforts. At night I'll go to sleep planning out my tomorrow with fantastic intentions in mind, only to wake up and not want to do any of what I'd plan a mere 7 hours ago. It's a cruel, cruel cycle I find myself in sometimes.

In your weight loss efforts, how have you put the pedal to the metal and knocked off the pounds? How did you react to minor setbacks and mindset issues?

Spring Cleaning

For today's post I'm feeling quite scatter-brained and absent-minded. I feel kind of frazzled and unable to focus intently on a single topic for this post, so I think I'll touch on a group of things that I feel I need to update you on. Got that? Great. Read on.

1. As you may have seen, my weekly updates have not gotten off the ground yet. I know it just sounds like an excuse, but allergies have been whoopin' my behind these last, two weeks and I haven't been making any progress that warrants a legit 'update.' However, I PROMISE you that updates will be around the corner. With Easter weekend coming up I will be visiting my parents in Wisconsin, so you can plan on my first update coming to you on April 14th. Let's see what kind of numbers I can have for you in two weeks!

2. I mentioned that I have a goal of losing 40 pounds by June 9th. If I do, I get to sign up for the Chicago Half Marathon. My lovely wife has also just informed me that she has an awesome gift she wants to give me as well that she and her brother have been collaborating on. In order to get that, I need to string together two great weeks of eating and exercising. Can't wait to see what it is! (And don't worry, I'll fill you in when I receive it.)

3. Also in that same vein, I got an email this morning telling me that the aforementioned Chicago Half Marathon is 33% ahead of its 2011 numbers, and that it will likely sell out in the near future. That's a bummer for me because I won't know if I can sign up for it until June 9th... Thus, I will either have to just sign up for it now to guarantee my spot, hope it'll still be open by June, or just accept the fact that I won't be able to run it. Or maybe just sign up for the Chicago Men's Health Urbanathlon in October instead!

4. I've recently started a new job downtown and I knew things were going to be different than my last job. The commute is much longer, the hours are longer and the work is harder. What I didn't expect was for there to be a break room stocked consistently with chips, soda and lots of other snacks. Needless to say, that has been a major struggle in my first, two weeks at the new gig. I really wish I could take a lunchtime run outside, but I would come back quite sweaty and smelly if I tried that. Maybe just a nice stroll will have to suffice. And lay off the Sun Chips, man!

5. As a result of the allergies and work snacks I assume that I have made negative progress on the scale. It's pretty frustrating, to be honest. But it's more of a frustration with my lack of effort, discipline and self-control rather than a frustration with the scale or the snacks. I'm the only one who can control which way the numbers go, and lately I've been quite lazy, complacent and out of control. With each day I string together I gain more confidence, so I just have to put the work in and get the ball rolling. Easier said than done...

And finally, I'll have to admit that I'm a bit jealous. I've been reading a lot of posts or seeing a lot of 'after pictures' lately by great individuals who have progress to show for their efforts. And while I'm happy for them, it's just kind of hard to see everyone ELSE doing well while I continue to tread water and sometimes almost sink at times.

But like I said, that will only continue if I allow it to. And let's start making each hour of the day count! Tomorrow morning I'm making my 6:00am-7:00am count by hitting the gym! I'll post proof tomorrow

Change Is Hard

Tonight I've had an epiphany of sorts.

I've made it a habit of trying to breakdown my screwy mindset with this whole losing weight process. I know that I can achieve my goal physically (because I got went from 240-215 during the summer of 2005), but I feel that something needs to click mentally before I can get back to that.

Summer of '05 after my first 10k race (215 lbs)

Do I need to have my world rocked by scary, physical statistics about unhealthy I am? Oh wait, I've been there and done that. Maybe I need to do some physical accomplishment so I can realize what I'm capable of if I put my mind to it. What? I've run four half marathons? Darn...

Sometimes I just sit back, throw up my arms and wonder, "So what needs to click?!?"

Well after talking with my wonderful wife this evening, I think I've narrowed down some things. Maybe I'm scared and intimidated by the lifestyle changes I'd have to endure in order to reach my goal. Could it be that my innate desire to be comfortable and inconvenienced supersedes my desire to put in the work to lose 75 pounds?

Let's hope not.

Does the bad food really taste that good? Nope.  Do I lack support and encouragement not only from family members, but also from those who have accomplished last weight loss before me? Not at all! Am I just being a lazy wuss who doesn't want to "work too hard" to accomplish not only a wanted goal, but a NEEDED one? Now we might be onto something...

Every day that passes is one day closer to my 'goal date' - I need to be making better use of these days!

Me. Gym. 6 a.m. tomorrow morning.

Now Where Were We?

Lately, (especially in the area of weight loss) I've been really good at starting things gung-ho only to fizzle out or give up after a week or two. A recent health & fitness endeavor fell into this category, but it's time to resurrect it and give it new life!

I've actually TWICE tried to do the "90-Day Fitness Challenge" by former Biggest Loser contestants Phil & Amy Parham. If you glance back a handful of posts, you'll actually see some entries pertaining to said challenge. I made it through a solid week of the challenges, but probably only put about 45% of my effort into it.

Before Jason Bourne, I wanted to be Michael Scofield

I'm also the kind of person who likes to begin unfinished tasks from the BEGINNING again. Even though I've seen 3 seasons of the show "Prison Break," I recently started from the very genesis of the series and watch it all the way through to completion. Even though I've already read "The Bourne Identity" as well as "The Bourne Supremacy," I had to re-read them before moving on to "The Bourne Ultimatum" once I got it.

Okay, maybe I'm slightly O.C.D. So sue me.

Either way, I'm giving the Parham's a second chance. And since it's par for the course, I'm starting again from the beginning. But instead of trying to post every day about the challenge, I'll just post once a week showcasing my favorite or most helpful challenges from the previous week.

Sound like a deal? Raise your hand if you care. Yeah, that's what I thought...but it's not for your benefit anyway. Just please read along - because I love watching that little view counter on the right-hand side move in the positive direction. Savvy?

Also, I'll now be posting my weight loss progress in the column on the right of the page. (In case you were curious).

Yours Truly,
Jordan

Post Blog Thought (P.B.T.): Maybe I continue to fall back to my heaviest because of this nagging urge to always start failed projects over from the beginning...

Onwards and Upwards!

So over the last month or so I've been doing some introspective questioning and probing. Trying to figure out what makes me tick - or what makes me WANT to tick, for that matter. A few posts ago I mentioned that I enjoy seeing visual results as fruits of my labor and how that makes it difficult to stick with a weight loss plan for longer than a couple weeks. I may have found a solution...

This week I've stumbled upon the NBC Universal Sports channel on Comcast. This channel is amazing! I originally tuned in yesterday to watch coverage of the Boston Marathon, and I haven't touched the dial since. Watching the marathon yesterday really got me motivated and inspired to go out and punish a 9.4 mile trail in the local forest preserve - and I don't think I've run more than 5 miles at once since my last half marathon...in August! It's just something about seeing others accomplish a race like the Boston Marathon that really makes you want to get up off your butt and do something active.

Since watching the marathon, I've also watched a triathlon in New Zealand, a show called "Human Express" where this guy RUNS the cross-country Pony Express route, and I think an Ironman is coming up in the next hour. Not only does each program make me feel very unaccomplished and lazy, but they all also make me wonder what kind of things I'M capable of doing.

Step one is completing my fourth half marathon coming up on Sunday, May 1st. We'll see where I go from there!

Productivity Amid Distractions

Well I've certainly found out a lot about myself these last couple weeks. It's interesting because these aren't new situations I'm finding myself in - I've been through this kind of thing before. This isn't the first time in my life that I've felt overwhelmed, stressed and disoriented. It's not the first time I've had an ever-growing list of things to do and had to figure out how to use my time wisely. So why am I realizing new things now as opposed to every other time I've been through this?

I've always known I was an organized, plan-things-out-before-going-forward type of person. It's a trait I'm glad I've inherited from my mother. I make daily lists. I organize my desk before getting staring my work. I schedule my days. It's when I stop doing these things that I start to come apart at the seams. So what does this discovery say about me?

Does it mean that I am fully dependent on a set schedule and shouldn't deviate from it without risking a meltdown? Does it mean I need to learn how to adapt to changes and still be able to accomplish what I set out to? Does it mean I need to scale back on my To Do Lists? I think I'm going to have to go with Door #2, Wayne <---- (click)

Why do small hiccups in my "plan" completely send me into a tail spin of accomplish-lessness? While this pertains to a majority of my assignments for myself, it sadly rears its ugly head the most when I'm in a groove of losing weight. I need to stop having mini self-pity parties and get right back to where I left off, not go on a week-long binge session of Taco Bell, pizza and soda...

September 2nd is getting closer and closer every day, and I made a promise that I'd be down to 199 by then. *GULP* - I can't afford any more time off to feel bad for myself!